Cowgirl, aka woman-on-top and the sister-wife of reverse cowgirl, can be the golden ticket to better sex. “The cowgirl positions can be a way for women to move in ways that feel best to them, focus pressure on all the right areas, and, for some women, these positions set them up to experience more pleasure,” says ob-gyn Renée Hilliard, MD, a sex and relationship coach.

When you’re on top, you can arrange yourself for optimum friction, rub your clit with a hand or toy, and go at whatever pace you please. It’s also a great position if you happen to have a partner packing some large D because you can control the depth and how much you want to take in.

If you’ve tried being on top and it’s not doing it for you, maybe it’s just not your thing—and that’s…completely normal. But sometimes, it’s that it can be daunting AF to be naked on top of someone, boobs all out and completely in charge of the sexing, which is totally common! “Some women feel that cowgirl positions make them more self-conscious about their bodies or they feel like they don’t know how they should be moving. These are feelings that can be overcome if you wish to,” says Hilliard. “Focusing on experiencing pleasure versus achieving orgasm and tuning in to how your body feels can take some of the pressure off sex. It can get you out of your head and into your body and ironically make it easier to achieve orgasms.” See also, these stellar ways to make being on top way better.

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Jill Hamilton

 Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.