18 Bondage Sex Positions That’ll Have You Begging for More

Whether bondage is a nerve-wracking item on your sexual bucket list or just a regular old Tuesday for you, mastering a few basic bondage sex positions can help make your BDSM experience super-hot, but also extra safe. (FYI: You’re aiming for something that only feels a little dangerous but is, actually, very safe if you plan ahead of time.)

The first step in having hot bondage sex? Finding someone you really trust to get tied up with, so to speak. Being restrained and at another person’s mercy puts you in an extremely vulnerable position—which is part of what makes this type of sex so good. But here, like with any kind of sex, communication, consent, safe words, and aftercare are crucial. (Here are a few things to know about aftercare when you’ve just had BDSM-style sex.)

“When it’s done safely, bondage can be incredibly pleasurable and rewarding for both parties. It allows you to experiment with BDSM, power play, and explore new areas of pleasure that you may never have even considered,” says dominatrix Ruby Payne, sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky.

If you’re new to bondage, don’t let it intimidate you—you don’t have to be tied up so tightly that it’s painful, and your partner doesn’t have to master, like, nautical sailor-level knots to tie you up in. Restraint can look like anything from holding someone’s wrists down during sex, to (if you want to go deeper) using cotton or hemp rope, handcuffs, bondage tape, or you can DIY it with a sexy tie or belt.

For positions, start simple. “What’s your favorite sex position? Start with that and use the ropes to tie the partner into that shape!” says sexologist Midori, educator and author of The Seductive Art of Japanese Bondage. “Don’t get intimidated by photos of complicated ties or instructions that tangle up your brain. It’s totally fine to keep it simple—after all, fun and steamy are the objectives.”

If you’re ready to restrain or be restrained, here’s what you need to know.

Communicate!

What are your boundaries? Would you rather dominate, submit or do you want to trying switching? Your partner won’t magically know what you want unless you talk about it, and you don’t wait until you’re in the throes. “Having a conversation outside of the bedroom is an opportunity to talk about what you actually want so it’s an enjoyable experience for everyone,” says trauma specialist Jimanekia Eborn, host of the Trauma Queen podcast.

Safety first (and second and third).

You and your partner should agree on a safe word. “Go for simple words you don’t typically say during sex,” says Aliyah Moore, PhD, resident certified sex therapist at SexualAlpha. If you can’t decide, go with the stop light system: Green = “more, please,” yellow = “warning, getting close to the danger zone,” red = “immediately no.”

Use the right equipment.

If you’re a newbie, try bondage tape as your restraint of choice. “It's a great alternative for those who don't have a particular affinity for knot-tying,” says Rachel Worthington, writer and researcher at Bedbible.com. “It looks like duct tape, but it only sticks to itself, not to skin or furniture.”

Have an escape plan if things go awry.

“Have a pair of scissors nearby should a knot get stuck or either partner wants to unwrap quickly,” says Midori. If you’re using handcuffs, make sure they have a quick-release lever or that you have the keys nearby.

And remember: Use the two-finger rule. “It’s incredibly important that you don’t tie the ropes too tightly. Leave room for two fingers between the receiver’s skin and the rope. Movement and pressure can cause the knots to tighten, so this additional squirming space is essential,” says Payne.

Prioritize aftercare.

“Giving your power away and surrendering to your partner can be amazing. At the same time, bondage can get pretty intense. Even if you’re so into it while you’re doing it, there can be weird feelings once it’s done,” says Moore.

Surrendering to your partner can feel great, but it can also get really intense, real quick, so it’s important to prioritize time for yourselves to hold each other, communicate, clean up, and rest. “It’s vital to create a nice and safe environment after bondage play is over,” says Moore. “Care for your wrists and ankles if there are burns from restraints. Cuddle with your partner afterward and spend time being gentle with each other.”

After you do all the prep work (which helps creates sexy anticipation!), test out some of these bondage sex positions.