17 Wedding Night Sex Positions to Try With Your New Spouse (!!!)
It's a big night! These position recs will help you make it extra special.
Congratulations, it’s your wedding night! You’ve chosen the perfect rings (maybe even on budget!), booked a great honeymoon destination and planned the party of the century. You deserve one…freaking…thing off your to-do list, so as our wedding gift to you, here are some wedding night sex positions and ideas that will help you feel your sexiest on your big night.
There’s on doubt weddings (especially if it’s yours!) are super fun, but it can be high-key stressful prepping, talking to all those relatives and smiling for photos approximately 8 million times. Give yourselves a break if your sex isn’t Bridgerton-worthy. “You don’t have to have sex on your wedding night. If you’re tired, feel free to go to sleep and get it on in the morning instead (or whenever you feel like doing so),” says sex and relationship expert at Lovehoney, Jess O’Reilly, PhD.
If it’s your first time having sex, talk about it beforehand, recommends ob-gyn Heather Bartos, MD. “Your partner may not know everything you like and don’t like,” she says. One way to make sure you know what you like? Learning your own body beforehand. Masturbation is your friend! If you’re worried about something, don’t be afraid to voice your concerns. (Psst: Check out our answers to your first time sex questions.)
If it’s not you and your partner’s first rodeo together, there are still ways to make your wedding night feel extra special. “To create buildup, you can opt to abstain from sex for a period of time before the wedding,” says O’Reilly. “Take a few days or a few weeks off to create tension and desire so that you’re aching to get your claws into one another after the big event.”
You can also make a sexy list of new things to try if you want to spice up your usual routine. “Talk over what you’d like beforehand and have a sex itinerary ready,” says queer sex educator Sarah Riccio, co-founder of Delicto.com. “If there’s a position or scenario you or your new spouse want to try, discuss it in advance so you can both anticipate it. Or surprise your partner with something fun and different that makes being married feel extra special and sexy.” (Like repurposing this lingerie advent calendar to extend the wedding night over the next seven days.)
And even if it’s not ~everything you imagined~, one of best things about sex when you’re married is that you get tons of chances to perfect it. Here are some wedding night sex positions to help you do just that.
Lovers in Arms
Feel all the love by lying on your sides facing each other, with your leg wrapped around your newly betrothed. “This position not only creates an intimate connection through full-body touch and eye contact, but it is ideal for transitioning between positions without missing a beat,” says O’Reilly. “A shallower reach allows for internal stimulation and the side-by-side set-up means your hands are free to wander and fondle as desired.” If one of those free hands wants to grab a clit toy, go right ahead.
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The Honeymoon Sweet
“If you’re splurging on the honeymoon suite, it’s likely to come with an oversized bathroom and soaker tub, so take advantage of the expanded digs. Have one partner sit on the edge of the tub while the other goes down on them while seated in the bubble bath,” says O’Reilly. “Use a good quality silicone lube and pick your favorite waterproof toy.”
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This Song Is For You
You might dance to “your song” at your wedding, but what if you could, like, bone to it? You can! “Take the intimacy of spooning to another level with a vibrating toy that’s music-activated, so it will vibe to ‘your song,’” says O’Reilly. Technology at work for you!
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Here Comes the Bride
Having sex all night doesn’t need to mean literally doing it for like, eight hours. Before you go to sleep, get yourselves semi-close to orgasm then stop. (Too close to orgasm will just be frustrating.) Fall asleep spooning, then whenever one of you wakes up, try a few slow thrusts, a short sleepy make out session or just a possessive hand on the other person’s junk. When you wake up, you’ll be so very ready for your partner.
The Shotgun Ceremony
Pull your new spouse into a private room at the reception for a quickie. Lift up your gown and point their head to your crotch for a quick oral session. If you’re looking for an extremely quick quickie, hand them a small toy—because you are so not that boring married couple.
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You May Kiss the Bride
Devote your night to kissing. Kiss your newly betrothed deeply on the mouth, suck gently on their earlobes, lick and kiss your way around their nipples and down their chest. Let them ravish you with oral. Return the favor, showing them how much you love them by looking deeply into their eyes as your take their penis/vulva into your mouth.
Couple of the Year
“The Lotus is a great position because you can be really close,” says Marla Renee Stewart, MA, sexpert for Lovers sexual wellness brand and retailer. Wrap your legs around each other in a sitting position. “This allows you to line your torsos up and be able to get your arms around each other, kiss, and embrace for a close and cuddly experience. To maximize this position, use your auditory feedback such as moans and heavy breathing in their ear to heighten arousal.” Try a double-headed dildo to heighten vulva-to-vulva sex if you’re into penetration.
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Damn, The Dry Cleaning Bill
Lean hard into the idea of being the fancy wedding couple. “When you arrive at your post-nuptial bedroom, if the energy is high and you're still in party mode, ride the wave of energy right into an adventurous sexual encounter. Try having sex in your wedding clothes. Lift up the skirt, unbuckle the belt,” says Zoë Kors, resident sex and intimacy coach at Coral. Yes, your stuff is going to get dirty. That's what makes it so good.
The Plan B
Some women get the surprise wedding gift of discovering that they have vaginismus. “I see many folks experience excruciating pain with intercourse on their honeymoon," says Heather Jeffcoat, DPT, who works with folks who have painful sex. To help, try getting on top. “Controlling the speed of insertion and depth of penetration are key when vaginismus is suspected or it’s otherwise not going quite as planned." A CBD lube can help ease the way too.
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The Hope Chest
Prepare a special sex box for the wedding and make your partner well aware you’re doing it. Fill it with a lingerie set that gives you Beyoncé energy, a pair of handcuffs, special lube, and a vibrator. On your big night, cuff your new spouse’s wrists behind their neck (comfortably, like when they’re resting their head on their hands) and slowly lube up the area(s) you’re gonna play with. (Vibes can be magic for: clits, perineums, penis shafts, around the anus, asses.) Don’t go right in—tease them a little 'til they really, really want it.
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The First-Time, Part II
If this isn't the first time for you, pretend! Act like you've never been touched by another. Yes, it’s just a mind game, but go all in and fake out your brain and you’ll really notice every touch and make every progression (holy crap, they’re touching my boobs!) feel like the first time. End facing each other on your sides for eye-gazing, soulful, slow sex.
The Kama Sutra
The Kama Sutra recommends many days' worth of wooing techniques to “create confidence in the girl” before the “inauguration of lovemaking,” but if you forgot that part, you can skip to the end for the bendy position for the day of reckoning. Get on your knees and lean back onto a big stack of pillows. Your penis-having or strap-on-wearing partner is on their knees to enter, giving them easy access to your clit too. (A vibrating cock ring will help in this a LOT.)
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The Happily (Ending) Ever After
Go hard on the romance by having them give you a full body rubdown with a scented candle or bar that melts into massage oil. Wait till you’re arching your back because you want them so damn bad, then have them slide onto your body and enter from behind. (“Behind” = “from the back” not “anal.” Anal is an anniversary thing.) Stretch your arms above and hold hands.
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The Post-Wedding Bubbly
Invite your new spouse to a bath for two with champagne chilling, something yummy to eat, and two fully-charged waterproof vibrators. Pop your vibe in (something that provides inner and outer stimulation would be amaaaazing), looking into each other’s eyes and see how long you can indulge in booze and vibrations before someone just loses it. Oral sex to follow for both of you, obvi.
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The Wedding Presence
If you’ve been together forever and seen every part of each other a billion times, you can make it feel new again by super-focusing on undressing each other like it’s the first time. Stand by the foot of the bed and remove each other’s wedding fits slowly, piece by piece, kissing whatever ~parts~ are revealed each time. Really notice the feel of their mouth on you or the way their chest feels under your hand. Prop your foot on the bed for balance and do it standing. Keep your veil on—it’ll feel extra sexy, and when else are you gonna wear it again?
Taking the Plunge
Again, just because you’ve done it *a lot* with your partner before the special day, you can still make it hot. Ban pre-wedding sex for an amount of time that will be semi-painful to both of you. (Think: A month or two? A week? Up to you!) When the big night comes and you’re beyond ready, have them carry you over the threshold, making out during. They prop you atop the fancy hotel dresser, slide down your panties, unzip and let them take you right there, still in your wedding clothes.
The Bedded Bliss
If one of you has never done it before, this night has even more meaning. Have your partner lie on top of the length of your body—chest to chest, legs to legs—and rock against you gently with your legs wrapped around their torso. A very sweet way to start as a married couple, plus it buffers against a too-enthusiastic pounding and lowers the chances of a penis-having partner cuming in two seconds because they’re finally—finally!—with you. As always, lube is your BFF.
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Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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