17 Super Bowl Sex Positions That Are Way Better Than Any Touchdown
With these hot moves, the real winner will be you.
Do you need Super Bowl sex positions in your life? Yes, you do, because even if you don’t know or care about who’s playing (*raises hand quietly*), the Super Bowl has allllll kinds of sexual tension going on. Consider the testosterone-fueled manliness, all the bending over, and the (odd?) abundance of phrases like “penetration in the back field,” “ball handling,” and “tight end.” See what I mean? And if that doesn’t do it for you (which, fair), Rihanna is playing the halftime show.
Channel any and all “IDGAF about this game” energy into an explosive finish with these Super Bowl sex positions. “Having football-inspired ways to score with your bae is a great way to spend the evening, particularly if your team is victorious,” says sex and relationships expert for Mega Pleasure, Charlotte Johnson. “Chances are that you and your partner will both be in the mood to find a way to release some of that tension once the game is done.” All that sexual energy needs to go somewhere, and that somewhere is you.
Johnson recommends making Super Bowl sex fun and celebratory by doing sexy things like going to bed in nothing but the jersey of your favorite player, but try not to have too much fun at whatever watch event you end up going to. “Be wary of drinking too many beers or eating too many greasy snacks to ensure you are at the top of your game with your partner.” (Pssst, here are some party snack recipes that are fancier than tossing a bag of chips on the coffee table.)
Huddle up and decide which of these Super Bowl sex positions you’re going to try on February 12— celebratory end zone dance optional.
The Tailback
Bend over for the hike with some good ol’ doggy style, recommends Johnson. “This is the perfect position for those with a nice and sturdy sofa who want to watch the game, but don’t want to lose focus if their team scores,” she says. “And it’s the best position for couples wanting to multitask while the game is on.” Add a rumbly penis ring and game on.
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The Time Out
Can wait to get home? “If you’re at a party, how about an interception in the bathroom to have a touch(down) of bathroom fun?” says owner of Overkink, Jaycee Chester. Head to the nearest bathroom, closet, or backseat for a quickie—just make sure you don’t get caught. (PSA: Lock that door!) Add a quiet vibrator to make sure you’re getting the most out of your rendezvous.
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Illegal Use of Hands
Turn foreplay into a sexy battle of wills with some primal kink, which has a more “predator and prey” vibe than the usual Dom/sub dynamic of BDSM, says certified sex therapist Stefani Goerlich, LMSW, author of The Leather Couch: Clinical Practice with Kinky Clients. “In the same way that the teams on the field scrimmage and tackle, gain yards and lose them, you can wrestle and run, pin down or wriggle free, or hunt and escape.” If you catch your prey (or they catch you), claim the prize with a collar and leash.
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The Quarterback Sex Position
If you don’t want to miss even a second of the game, you don’t even have to leave the couch for this position. One person sits on the couch, the other hops on their lap. “The person doing the riding can either get on top and face the TV too, or position a mirror behind the couch to enjoy a full view of the TV in its reflection. No matter which direction you're facing, this position allows both teams to catch the game and revel in sexual pleasure at the same time,” says queer sex educator Sarah Riccio, co-founder of Delicto. If you’re a super fan, use extra quiet toys so you don’t miss a single play.
The Huddle
Looking for an athletic challenge of your own? “Get deep into strategy talks with this intimate, face-to-face position,” says Ruby Payne, dominatrix and sex expert at adult toy retailer UberKinky. “Both partners sit with their legs bent and their feet flat on the floor facing one another. Lean back on your hands or forearms and thrust together.”
The Wide Open
“I recommend the Wide Open for couples who enjoy penetration, whether with a penis or a strap-on,” says sex and relationships therapist David F. Khalili, LMFT. It’s a spooning position where the little spoon lifts their top leg up and bends their knee over their partner’s hip. “This widely opens up their pelvis to allow for some deep penetration and celebratory exploration.” It also leaves plenty of room for one (or both!) of you to get handsy with your clit.
The Locker Room Celebration
Every commercial break, whisper filthy things to each other about what you want to do to each other after the game. When you hit the bedroom, instead of squirting champagne all over each other, grab a tube of lube and squirt it all over each other's chests.
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The Winner Takes All
Raise the stakes of the game by wagering on it. Winner gets a long, really good session of oral sex (or whatever the hell they want—stakes set beforehand).
The Point Taken
Pick a team, and when they score, you score (er, sorry). Each point for your team means you get to request something, redeemable immediately, from your partner (and vice versa). Could be a neck rub, could be five minutes with a boss-ass vibrator, could be... something else. Rules are rules.
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The Midfield Sack
Mount your partner reverse-cowgirl style (because you can both still keep your eyes on the game this way). Then use your free hand to roll and lightly tug on their balls or cup them, stroke them, hop off for a bit and take each one gently in your mouth...whatever move feels right in the moment. Just don’t forget to hop back on and let them return the favor by reaching around and rubbing your clit.
The Happy Ending Halftime Show
If you’re not that into the halftime show, put on your own show with a sexy striptease. Kiss, touch, and rub up against your partner, but don’t let them touch you until the game starts. Time it right so that you end up giving them oral when it starts up again. This, for some people, is pretty much the Quintessentially Perfect Super Bowl Experience.
The Wide Receiver
Hop on your partner’s lap, facing them, and open your legs wide as you ride them. You can’t see the TV from this position, but you can see the inner struggle on their face as they decide whether to watch the game or look at you splayed out before them so enticingly. Have them rub your clitoris as you move, and you both will lose it before the next touchdown.
The Unnecessary Roughness
Whichever one of you hates football becomes the designated submissive. The submissive lies on the floor while the dominant watches the game, giving attention to the sub as they please.
Keep your submissive on edge with an unpredictable BDSM-y mix: Rub their nipples or inner thighs sexily, give them a quick spank, blindfold them, then place an ice cube somewhere on their body or give them hot commands. (Think: “Use my hand to rub yourself until the end of this commercial.”) The sub may not be into football, but they will be well-entertained with this game.
The Commercial Break
If you're in need of a quickie during a long-ass commercial break, hop on top of your teammate (you don’t even need to leave the couch). If you usually do a kind of an up-and-down thrusting move when you’re on top, try more of a rocking motion.
If they have a penis, thrust back and down so that you’re sliding over the top of their penis, then on the upstroke move upward so that the bottom wall of your V rubs up the bottom of their shaft. Win-win.
The Side Bet
Have something riding on the game by outfitting yourselves with remote-controlled sex toys and bestowing each other with the power that is the remote.
Pick a team. Whenever your team scores a point, your partner gives you enough of a toy surge to get you very close to orgasm, but not quite there, and vice versa when their team scores. (If your partner has a penis, they might really like a prostate toy and your mouth for their “wins").
Torturous but, like, in a fun way.
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The Tail Gate
If you both really want to watch the game (or have plans to go to a watch party later), have a pre-game session just for two. Prop your butt up on a pillow in missionary-style sex for the kind of deep penetration that hits the top of your vaginal wall and leaves your hands free to rub yourself at the same time.
In the spirit of the game, put your legs straight up against your partner’s shoulders—field goal!
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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