The Eiffel Tower sex position is a perfect starter position for threesomes because it’s easy, customizable, and doable for people of any and all genders. “Of the group sex positions that porn and the media often misrepresent and portray as being accessible or easy for everyone, the Eiffel Tower actually is!” says sexologist Lilithfoxx, a relationship educator and inclusivity consultant.
The basic architectural structure of the position is simple: One person is on all fours performing oral on a second person, while being also serviced from behind by a third. This formation supposedly looks like the Eiffel Tower, but do not be alarmed by the older, super bro-ey version with two dudes high-fiving each other over the middle person, which does not have to be a thing unless you want it to be. Ultimately, the Eiffel Tower is about everyone having fun. “It can be remixed however you like it. Just ensure that all members' pleasure is prioritized, not just the two creating the top of the tower,” says relationship and sex therapist Nikquan Lewis.
The position gained notoriety as an MMF position, but anyone can do it regardless of sexual or physical anatomy. “Penetration doesn’t even have to be involved,” says Lilithfoxx. “Partners can engage in all oral or manual stimulation (or some combination of it all!) and can incorporate toys, BDSM, and kink. All parties involved can stimulate each other—it doesn’t have to be only one person getting all the attention the entire time!”
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The key to a successful tower is finding the right partners. Dolly Ferraiuolo, a licensed therapist specializing in sexual health and wellness, says you should choose sexual partners who make you feel seen and heard. “Always remember, you can say no or disengage from the experience at any point in time, even after the experience has been initiated. If you have any partners making you feel bad for not moving forward, that is a red flag,” she says.
Ready? Round up some friends and try these Eiffel Tower sex positions.
The Classic Eiffel Tower
If you’re the person in the middle, make sure the classic Eiffel Tower is about you instead of just your body parts. Communicate clearly to ensure your pleasure is being prioritized and chose partners who you know will respect your boundaries. Then strap in (perhaps literally?) and enjoy. “Being sandwiched like that by two men can be extremely pleasurable for the woman,” says Inka Winter, a director of erotic films for women at ForPlayFilms. If you’d like to incorporate the “classic” high-five style, see the photo above for reference. But you can also just…exorcise the bro vibe entirely and have them place their hands on your shoulders and hips. Or, as Winter says, “What would make it a real Eiffel Tower position would be the two men kissing each other!” Just an idea!
The Tower of Power
The person in the middle can be the active participant in receiving the penetration, instead of remaining stationary, says Lilithfoxx. To do this, the receiver backs their hips (or mouth) onto the givers to receive penetration, while the givers remain stationary. Want even more control? Hand a vibrator to the person behind you and press against it as you please.
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The Collapsed Eiffel Tower
If you have mobility limitations, iffy knees, or just want to lie town, turn the Eiffel Tower on its side. “The base partner rolls onto their side and the two outside partners lay instead of standing or kneeling,” says Ferraiuolo. An edible lube will make each end extra tasty.
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I'm a Sex and Relationships Editor for Cosmo's Snapchat Discover, which you should definitely subscribe to :).
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
