Let's be real: None of us are perfect, but we sure as hell like to *think* we are (looking at you, Virgo). We all make mistakes in relationships, and sometimes those mistakes even teach us valuable life lessons. But sometimes we get caught in toxic relationship patterns that we don't even notice. The only way to break out of these molds is to face the truth so you can outgrow them once and for all. Here is each zodiac sign’s biggest relationship mistake. Prepare for a reality check.

ARIES: Taking your partner for granted.

You’re a powerhouse, Aries, and you have no problem thriving independently. But this fierce autonomy can sometimes be your Achilles heel. You thrive as a leader, which is great...but sometimes in your relationships, you end up treating your boo like a follower. Remember, a healthy connection is not about one person dominating the conversation and expecting your partner to always be your biggest fan. Treating your partner like Siri, always there to answer your every need, will end up pushing them away. Don’t take them for granted. Do your best to lift them up in the ways they want, too.

TAURUS: Bottling everything up.

Everyone’s heard about Tauruses being being stubborn AF. But people don't always realize that your resistance to change also extends to your emotions. Tauruses are steady. They crave peace and harmony. Drama just stresses you out!!! But when you’re not facing your authentic thoughts and feelings, your partner may end up blindsided when you inevitably bottle them up to the point that they explode and you throw a tantrum. While you may initially think that you’re just grounding and centering yourself when you ignore relationship issues, that’s not the case—you’re actually just avoiding a tough but necessary convo. Keeping everything inside will end up causing you to resent your partner and pull your relationship apart. So open up! You can do it.

GEMINI: Giving up on your relationship before it’s 0ver.

Ever heard of a Gemini running away rather than facing their feelings? Never! (That was total sarcasm, in case you couldn't tell.) In fact, Geminis are notorious for doing exactly this repeatedly, but never looking back for a second to notice it. While you like relationships when they’re all fun and games—and sure, throw in a little bit of drama—as soon as you hit any “growing pains,” you end up just throwing in the towel. It’s not that you’re a lazy lover or afraid of commitment (with the right person), but you tend to look at a disagreement as the end of a relationship, rather than an opportunity for compromise and growth. Don’t run, Gemini. Some of the most rewarding relationships require hard work.

CANCER: Letting your individuality slip.

A Cancer opening their heart is a beautiful thing—especially because you’ve got to get through their very hard shell to earn their trust first. But when you get to that point, Cancer, you don’t just open up a little—you unleash the floodgates! On one hand, this can be a cathartic experience for you and your boo. But on the other, it means that you might start to wonder where you end and they begin. This level of codependency and letting go of personal boundaries can be dangerous because you lose your own identity to the identity of the relationship. It isn’t about what you like, your friends, your goals, or even your fav foods anymore. It ends up being all about what your partner likes. If your friends tell you that you act totally differently depending on who you're dating, well, this is what they're talking about. Keep your individuality, Cancer. It's what made you special in the first place.

LEO: Taking your feelings out on your partner.

Leo, sweetie, you burn as hot as the Sun (and you love it!). When life is good, you’re *great*. When life is just okay, you keep your chin up because you don't like anyone to see you down. But when life is…difficult, you’re messy AF. And you end up blasting all your fiery feelings your partner. Obviously, you can never keep what you’re feeling inside fully because you were born for the stage! But your boo is not a sponge. They have a threshold of what they can and cannot take—even if they love you to the Moon and back. They also have a ton of other problems, responsibilities, and emotions they’re juggling 24/7, even if they don't bring them up (because there’s no competing with you for attention when you’re in a mood). Stop treating your honey like an emotional dumping ground. How about learning to swap stories and give each other a platform to whine or cry or celebrate the world?

VIRGO: Trying to change people.

You're the fixer-upper of the zodiac. And of course you’re not the one that needs all the help and attention. Your motto is "I can fix them!" When you start dating someone, you like who they are…over time you start noticing little patterns/habits/quirks/phrases/behaviors that, for a lack of better words, annoy you. When you give advice (read: constructive criticism), it's genuinely coming from a kind place–you just want to improve your partner's life! But honestly, sometimes they just want to load the dishwasher their way. So how about accepting your boo for who they are—letting them grow as they go—and not imagining who they can be?

LIBRA: You can be a bit passive-aggressive.

You have the most beautiful (fake) smile in the zodiac, Libra. This isn't because you’re inauthentic, but because you’d prefer not to rock the boat, even when you don’t agree with something. That’s cool and all—until your threshold for BS has been far, far, far exceeded. You know that moment when your fake smile starts twitching and then your eye starts twitching and you’re ready to go from angel to demon in 2.5 seconds? Yeah, that one. Suddenly you’re trying to play nice, but actually throwing passive-aggressive daggers at every turn. And until your boo truly changes whatever is getting on your nerves (or you speak up directly), you'll be constantly fuming about every little thing that annoys you. So break that cage, bb, and communicate.

SCORPIO: Creating drama rather than working as a team.

All or nothing, in or not, up or down, peace or war: You’re a creature of extremes, Scorpio. While you can direct this intensity toward your goals, there’s a significant chance that when you’re unhappy about well, anything, you lash out at the world around you. Your bad mood ends up burning things to the ground. If your boo voices an opinion or tries to help out, soothe you—anything—your heart eyes quickly turn into daggers. This firestorm will lead you to dropping bombs like you’re not in a relationship, you’re not even a team, and in fact, they're your enemy. This zero-to-100 mentality is just a defense mechanism—and 99% of the time there's no need for it. Take a deep breath and channel that lightning into something constructive.

SAGITTARIUS: Not being honest about your feelings.

Life is all fun and games for you, Sag, and if it’s not, you’re on the next flight outta there! However, your fears, your feelings, your dreams—most of the time you don’t share them unless you’re making light of them. When any tension happens between you and your partner, you’re likely to keep it chill and not discuss it…but then overshare all the intimate details with your pals. Gossiping to friends about your relationship issues? You can't resist. And that’s just the first nail in the coffin, because as soon as you vent to everyone else, all those other people’s opinions start swimming in your head, and you’re already one foot in and one foot out in the relationship. Meanwhile, your S.O. has no idea. The only way you can fix this is to be straight up but sensitive and talk it out.

CAPRICORN: Expecting everyone to eventually hurt you.

You thrive as part of a power couple, Capricorn. You have no problem putting in the work to build a life together. That is, until your inner pessimist starts to creep out. Before you know it, you start complaining about life, then complaining about other people, and then eventually complaining about your partner. Honestly, this isn’t because you are a dark person. In fact, you’re a joy when you’re in a happy place. Your pessimistic side is just a defense mechanism because you can get just a little bit afraid that something’s not gonna work out in the end. Delete that mood. Don’t push people away. Remember you are worthy of love, and not every relationship ends in heartbreak.

AQUARIUS: You always have to win.

Aquarius, get out of your head for two seconds, babe! Yes, you're super smart and, but relationships aren't about a master plan. You can't control things—or people—just because you're afraid of change. The worst part of overthinking, though, is that it can start to feel like a “them versus you” situation. Instead of trying to compromise and work together, every little disagreement turns into The Battle of Who Is Right. While this may feel immensely validating in the moment—you love to prove your point and adore flexing your intellectual superiority—it actually ends up making your partner feel defeated. Love isn’t about who is winning, Aquarius. It’s about opening your heart and sharing, regardless of who is victorious in the debate.

PISCES: Sacrificing parts of yourself for the relationship.

When it comes to romance, you want to be a princess in a fairytale, Pisces. This can sometimes lead you to conveniently overlook red flags in relationships. I hate to say it, but sometimes you'll even sacrifice parts of your life just to keep the connection. Sure, we all may have quirks or vices, but when you begin to let go of some of your favorite hobbies, friends, or dreams, this is not a relationship. You’re meant to shine and live vibrantly. Remember that.

Headshot of Kyle Thomas
Kyle Thomas

Kyle Thomas is a globally recognized pop culture astrologer who has been featured on _Access Hollywood, E! Entertainment, NBC & ABC television, Cosmopolitan Magazine, the New York Post, Page Six, Hulu, Seventeen Magazine, Bustle, Elite Daily and more. He is known for his cosmic guidance for celebrities, business executives, and prominent influencers. His work harnesses the power of the stars in regards to entertainment lifestyle and trends affecting people worldwide. Currently, he is the official astrologer for @Horoscopes + @Horo.ScopesDaily. Kyle received two Bachelor of Arts for Psychology and English from the University of Wisconsin-Madison and integrates these degrees into his growing research of psychology, personality, and the human condition.