14 Blow Job Sex Positions That Do It for You Too
Double the pleasure, double the fun.
If you have a penis in front of your mouth and are wondering what to do, here's some secret wisdom from experts on how to give a truly stellar BJ. (Caveat: every penis is different, so assess and revise as necessary.)
Get handsy.
“Anything you can do with your mouth and tongue, you can do with your hands, with greater flexibility and dexterity,” says Jess O’Reilly, PhD, Resident Sexologist at Astroglide. Play with their balls, stroke their shaft with two hands, press your thumb onto their perineum (the area between their balls and anus) as they are having an orgasm.
Moisturize!
“No one likes dry rub and friction during a blow job, so make sure that you use moist saliva or have edible lube on hand to help you easily slide your mouth up, down, and around him,” says Alex Etienam, a sex counselor who specializes in sex therapy for transgender individuals and couples.
Google “frenulum.”
“Appreciate the frenulum. The frenulum is the most sensitive part along with the head of the cock so give those parts attention by flicking your tongue,” says Etienam.
Try the “granny mouth.”
“Pull your lips into your mouth. This creates a tight suction feel as you move up and down,” says Kay Johnson, Founder of Let's Get Kinky.
Just add water.
”Take a big sip of water and let a little dribble out onto their penis. Hold some water in your mouth as they enter. This will help you start out with a wet mouth and incorporates some temperature play,” says Rachael Zevecke, sex hacker and female empowerment coach.
Look lustfully into their eyes.
“Make eye contact throughout, and look up at them with their penis in your mouth,” says Zevecke.“It's also a sexy way to check in and see the lust in their eyes, which I'm a sucker for.”
Watch yourselves.
“Kneel in front of a full-length mirror while your partner stands and watches,” says Sarah Riccio, queer sex educator and co-founder Delicto.com. “This position creates the perfect angle for deep throating. And if you’re into it, try playing up the gagging and choking sounds a bit for your partner’s auditory pleasure.”
(Pssst: if you aren't into the BJs that's totally fine—don't do it! However, if you're game to try but need some adjustments/help, here are some ideas if you don't know wtf to do with your tongue, or if you don't like swallowing or deep throating or are looking for some go-to moves to make them lose it.)
The B (and P) Job
“If your partner is a lover of the P-spot, don’t leave that unattended,” says Etienam. “Your partner might want a stable or vibrating insert that you can maneuver while you are blowing them. Maybe a finger, firm, or gentle licking will give them what they crave. If this is the case, go from ass, to P-spot, to testicles, to cock." Give yourself some pleasure as well by sitting on a vibrator.
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The Loveseat Wishbone
Put your legs over the back of a sturdy sofa or loveseat and hang upside down while your partner kneels in front of the sofa. “This position is such a winner because it aligns the direction of the giver’s throat with the natural direction of the erection. It’s very easy to deep throat in this position,” says Victoria Thomas, former columnist for Cosmopolitan Bedside Astrologer.
The Bend Over and Blow
“Aspiring Dominants, take note: this position is all about control. While your partner lies on their back, stand beside the bed with your legs hip-width apart and bend over to take them in your mouth. Maximize the power dynamic by keeping your clothes on while they lie in front of you naked and vulnerable,” says/commands Riccio. “Variations include tying your partner to the headboard, gagging them, tickling their feet, or placing a firm hand over their face while you blow their junk and mind. This is an ideal time to break out your panty vibe, allowing your partner to operate the remote only when they've been very, very good.”
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The Duck and Cover
If don't like to swallow, set expectations in a stealth and not unkind way by saying something like “I want you to orgasm on my...” whatever, boobs, stomach, left elbow. Keep the communication going throughout (watch their body, listen to their breathing, just ask how close they are, etc...) to make sure their Life Force goes where you want it to. For this, try a more traditional position so you can help direct the flow. (A wearable vibrator will put this position over the top for you.)
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The Face F*ck
For a more hard-core, power dynamics situation, your partner can straddle your face and, basically, give themselves a blowjob by thrusting into your mouth. If this is too much-and it totally can be!--curl your hand around their shaft as a buffer to control how deep they go. With the other hand, you can masturbate or use a toy (BTW: A thrusting toy is great here 'cause it kinda mirrors what's going on with your mouth).
Shop Now Rechargeable Thrusting Rabbit, $100, AdamEve.com
"Lier's" Poker
If you are feeling lazy yet generous, bring the task at hand to you by sitting back on a stack of pillows. Your mouth attends to the BJ-ing while your hands are free to touch yourself or, even easier, lie back and let a toy handle you.
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The Prop Engine
Use the power of physics and prop a largish vibrator between a mattress and box springs or the cushion and frame of a soft couch or chair. The toy will tend to you (thrusting against it is sexy too) and you'll have your hands free to add to that glorious on-your-knees BJ you're giving.
Shop Now Hitachi Magic Wand, Babeland, $59
The Hump and Blow
If you're a humper, prop a pillow between your legs, slip a lubed hand down between your legs and slide back and forth over it as you suck on him. If you need more power, invest in a toy mount that will hold a Magic Wand or DIY it and stick a l'il something between two pillows, pressing them together with your knees.
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The Yin Yang Edge
Avoid that weird 69 zone where you're simultaneously giving and receiving yet not doing either properly by trading off. Torture him by bringing him juuuuust to the brink of orgasm then switch. (High fives optional.) Lie in a sideways 69 position so that when the other person cuts you off, you barely have to move to immediately translate all your passion back to them via your mouth.
The Double-Down
Have him stand and strip his pants off. Kneel before him, kissing your way up his inner thigh giving him to time to appreciate the always-glorious male moment of "Oh my god, this gorgeous woman is about to suck my dick!" As you go to town on him, ride gently on a dildo or press a vibrator against yourself. You may want to look into a rabbit-style dildo vibe with an attached part that buzzes against your clit, if you're into both internal and external stimulation.
Open Wide and Say "Ahhhh"
For something raunchier (and waaaaaay more satisfying) than 69, raise your hips up and away from his mouth and let him use his fingers or a favorite toy on your womanly parts. This is great for you (see: previous sentence with the fingers and/or toy) and pretty insane for him as well. Between the upside-down BJ and completely hot close-up view of your naughty bits, you are making memories, aka future masturbation fodder.
If you're in plain ol' BJ position but get too turned on and need to do something for yourself — like, right away — straddle one of his thighs and grind against his leg. This is extra amazing if you are wet and he can feel your slipperiness as you rub on him — he'll be even happier than he already was just getting oral. And gently stimulating your clit with his body will make you happier than just bobbing up and down on his junk.
The Mouth Off
If you like to play with power dynamics, lie on your back and let him mount your mouth, with his head pointed toward your feet. If he supports his body weight with his arms, you are free to do what you please with your hands. Work your fingers between your legs and go to town — any additional moans you may let out are an added bonus for him in this position. When you're surrendering control of the depth of penetration, make sure you let him know if he's going too deep or you just don't like it or whatever. This one is ideal for people who enjoy rough play.
The Stick Shift
Sometimes seeing your partner get super hard for you gives you the overwhelming urge to hop on that thing. So do it. Climb aboard for a few long, slow sexy thrusts before sliding off and taking him in your mouth again. If you are both into to the tastes of sex, he will absolutely love seeing you taste yourself on him. (It's a personal thing, though one you might find worth trying. But hey, I'll stay out of your bed. Somewhat.) Alternate using your mouth and riding him, as needed, guiding his hand to your clit when you're on his lap. Alternating will also make him last longer, which benefits everyone.
Jill Hamilton is a contributor for Cosmopolitan.com and writes the blog In Bed With Married Women.
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