A couple of weeks ago, I came across an ad for a pop-up drive-in movie theater in my area and obviously purchased tickets immediately. A fun, socially distanced, and nostalgic date night that was going to be more exciting than just moving from the couch to the back porch? Fuck yes, take my money.
When I looked through the movie choices (and debated whether or not to wear a poodle skirt to the event because #vintage), it dawned on me that I could really up the sexiness of this date night with my hubs. I mean, historically, the drive-in theater was literally where people went to hook up (says pretty much every scene in Grease, anyway).
But back in the 1950s, couples would hit up a flick when they needed a little ~privacy~. And yet ironically enough, with strict social distancing and quarantine orders in 2020, I desperately needed the opposite of privacy.
Since I’m an exhibitionist, finding ways to scratch my specific itch in the midst of a global pandemic has been majorly challenging. I’ve tried lots—from getting it on in a kiddie pool in my yard to role-playing TV characters. But I realized it had been close to a year (!!!!!!) since I actually had sex someplace other than my own home. A major bummer for my libido.
The drive-in, however, was quite possibly going to be my saving grace. So I selected the latest viewing of Die Hard to ensure there wouldn’t be children in the vicinity, and I swear I could feel the cobwebs clearing out of my vagina as I clicked “purchase.”
How It Went Down
By the time the day rolled around and my husband and I loaded up the car with blankets, pillows, popcorn, and a cheap bottle of wine, I was ready. I tried to hide my smile behind my mask as we handed our tickets to the bored attendant pointing out places for cars to park.
We conveniently maneuvered to the back corner of the lot just as the final movie trailers were winding down. My husband turned off the engine, and we both crawled into the back seat. I glanced around to, you know, assess my surroundings, and I noticed that the cars to the left of us were all dark inside. I was unable to see the passengers, let alone what they were doing in the confines of their vehicles. Perfect.
I draped a blanket over our laps, which is like The Move to insinuate something is about to go down. And with my husband’s arm resting lightly on my shoulders, I moved my hand to his leg and unzipped his pants.
Y’all, you should’ve seen the surprise on this man’s face. When it clicked for him, he leaned in and kissed me, my neck, my shoulders, everything. Then he laid me down flat, spread my legs apart, and disappeared underneath the blanket for some cunnilingus action.
After he came up for air from, ahem, tending to me, we awkwardly tried to switch positions, which proved to be near impossible. Something I forgot about car sex? You’re in suuuper close quarters, which means mixing things up can be majorly challenging.
After a lot of readjusting, though, I found myself on top of him with his back flat against the seat. I slowly rode him, obviously utilizing some of the skills I picked up at a cowgirl sex class I took during quarantine. (TYSM, sexpert and cowgirl instructor Tyomi!)
Between the possibility of getting caught and the sheer fact that we were having sex someplace other than our home, let’s just say we didn’t last long. My orgasm was pretty much instantaneous. It didn’t matter that we could barely move (let alone switch positions).
After a few moments, we were both panting and sweating—and yes, the windows had actually fogged up. Just call me Rose.
The Verdict
While the sex positions might not have been the most advanced, just being able to safely get out for a date night was an aphrodisiac in and of itself. Add in the fact that (1) anyone could have seen us and (2) we had some post-penetration popcorn, and it was the perfect (and safe!) solution for a COVID-19-induced sex slump.
Highly, highly recommend you try it for yourself. Just make sure to avoid daylight showings and children’s movies for, like, obvious reasons. Oh, and for your sake, you miiiiight want to book a double feature depending on just how horny you are. You and your sex life can thank me later.
The Stuff Cosmo Readers Are Shopping Right Now
Cadence The Capsule Travel Container
You betcha these little magnetic travel containers are TSA-approved. Plus, they're super cute.
According to TikTok, these leggings will make your ass look like a juicy snacc.
A cult-icon for a reason, this is the best hair-dryer brush overall.
KISS Magnetic Eyeliner & Lash Kit
If “sandwich” magnetic lashes aren’t for you, try this genius magnetic eyeliner.
If you want a rabbit that does more than just vibrate in place, this is it.
MiSMON Laser Hair Removal Tool
This is hands-down the best at-home laser hair removal product for leg hair.
HSI PROFESSIONAL Ceramic Flat Iron Hair Straightener
More than 28,000 reviewers say this is the best hair straightener on Amazon.
Savage x Fenty Floral Lace Cheeky with X Charm
Cheeky, lacy, and oh so sexy. No wonder they're a bestseller.
Rachel Varina is a full-time freelance writer covering everything from the best vibrators (the Lelo Sona) to the best TV shows (The Vampire Diaries). She has over 10 years of editorial experience with bylines at Women's Health, Elite Daily, Betches, and more. She lives in Tampa, Florida, but did not feed her husband to tigers. When she's not testing out new sex toys (100+ and counting so far!), she's likely chilling with her dogs or eating buffalo chicken dip. Ideally at the same time. Follow her on Instagram and Twitter.
